BLIZZARD WARNING!!!!


DANGER, WILL ROGERS!!!! DANGER!!!!

Yes, the weather terrorists are at it again and I couldn’t be happier. As of this morning, the forecast is now calling for up to 2 feet of snow, with high winds and drifts up to 5 FEET.

I am just GIDDY! I’m trying not to get my hopes up for it, for fear of only getting 6 inches and being disappointed. But as an Amateur Meteorologist (like all Minnesotans) I have taken a look at the latest models, and they are indicating 1.4″ of precipitation for the Twin Cities, in the next 24-48 hours. Now it’s a complicated algorithym to convert inches of precip to snow, I believe it involved the derivative of the temperature, measured with a wet bulb thermometer, raised to the square root of the barometric pressure, or something like that. Regardless, I am enough of a self appointed weather expert to know that 1.4″ inches of precipitation is a giant ass snowfall.

This can only mean one thing. I must stop at the liquor store on the way home, and have the kids bring a weekends worth of firewood up onto the back porch. So long as man as fire, and booze, there is no storm that he can’t survive. (I think I got that from a Jack London story)

There’s also a lesser known meteorological calculation, that is much easier than converting inches of precipitation to inches of snow. In fact, it’s a direct correlation. However much precipitation falls, that’s how full you need to fill the Scotch glass. So I’ll be pouring them 1.4″ deep tonight if you happen to be in the neighborhood. If not, please inform your local bartender of this meteorological law. You would hate to have to report him to the authorities.

Oh the weather outside is frightful…

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18 thoughts on “BLIZZARD WARNING!!!!

  1. You are absolutely right – All Minnesotans are indeed amateur meteorologists. That includes the morons on the TV. The moron / terrorist in your link actually mentioned the “Halloween Blizzard” in comparison with this weekend.

    I dont know if you were in MN at that time (I was a sophomore at the U of MN) but this particular terrorist better be right about us getting a monster snowfall, to have the nerve to bring up that legitimate Snow-mageddon. It has it’s own Wikipedia page.

    SD
    http://simpledudecomplexworld.blogspot.com/

  2. What in the hell is wrong with you people? Two flurries sputtered out of the sky here this afternoon and everyone ran outside in a panic, collided and had to go the hospital. Then on the way home they bought out all the shovels from Home Depot and all the milk.
    Now my kids will have to starve & there is no toilet paper within a thirty mile radius.
    How do you survive this shit? I bet your wife has an axe hidden somewhere you don’t know about.

    • I’m just a blogging fool! Or tool, I forget which.

      And yes, it’s been well documented that guys have trouble estimating the size of something.

  3. See, forecasters are calling for only 4-12 inches here. WTF kind of range is that?? Four inches = probably not enough to cancel school. Five or more = it’s on, bitches. If you could send just enough over this way, I’d be much obliged, Pa Ingalls.

    • Yeah, a few years back one of the local weather forecasters called for 2 to 10 inches. That’s really going out on a limb.

      I can’t make any promises, but I’ll talk with the Edward and the Oleson families and see if we can’t fix you up with some. We always pull together to help each other here in Walnut Grove.

  4. I like it here in KY, where the meteorologist says snow and everyone immediately darts for the liquor store and the grocery, to buy milk, bread, cigarettes and alcohol(obviously not in that order). Also, school is famously cancelled here when there are flurries. Don’t laugh, it’s not a joke. I am dead serious, flakes fall, school is out. Parents actually went to the school board and complained last year, who passed the buck to the county road department, and so on. Hi-Lar-Ious!!!

    I hate snow. I may not be a meteorologist, but I know it needs to be cold to snow, which is enough to make me hate it.

    • They have liquor stores in Kentucky? I thought you had to make your own out back of the woodshed. Things have changed since the last time I was down in Lou-a-vul.

    • I can relate to Wicked Shawn’s situation. It’s exactly the same here in Alabama. Some people accuse the grocery stores of being in with the TV weather people. They mention the hint of snow, and every drop of milk and crumb of bread is gone.

      • My best friend spent 4 years in North Carolina, and he lamented the same thing. We like to laugh about it. But when we get 90+ and humid here in July, we run out and empty the stores of air conditioners, sun tan lotion, and scotch

        That’s what is so great about scotch. It’s a drink for all seasons.

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