Life during wartime


It was Nine Degrees Below Zero on the drive to work this morning. I’d complain about it, but in my opinion if you choose to live in Minnesota you forfeit your right to complain about the cold. It’s like buying a house at the end of an airport runway and complaining about the noise from the planes. So let’s just say ITS EFFIN COLD OUT THERE!!!!!!!!

I feel better now.

Sorry to disorient you boys and girls by posting in the middle of the day, but I am writing this post on my lunch hour as I have been busy all morning with an annoying thing called “work”. Honestly, I really need to do something about that. These friggin shareholders are way too demanding. They’re always like “How much money did you make me this year? What is the stock price? Why aren’t your profits increasing more than 10% over last year. Where’s my dividend check? What happened with that $3 Million Dollar tax write off in Brazil? Why is this vacation property in St. Thomas on the balance sheet?”

Damn shareholders. You’d think they signed my paychecks or something.

It’s been a hectic month. I way over estimated my ability to multitask when I signed up to teach 2 classes, and coach youth hockey. Not to mention get married and have children for that matter. And I thought the shareholders were needy. Kids are always “When are you going to feed me? Why don’t I have clothes to wear that fit? How come I have to spend the night inside the dog crate again?”

Damn kids.

Fortunately, they also do things from time to time that make you proud, and teary eyed. Maybe it’s the Xanax and Scotch talking, but it’s been happening a lot lately. Both of them brought home “A” report cards. Both of their teachers told us what wonderful kids they were to have in their classes. So don’t under estimate the motivational power of the dog crate.

I’m KIDDING! I kid! I’m a kidder!

Please, put down the phone. Child Services has already been out to visit twice this week anyway.

As I mentioned over the weekend, we spent the Great Blizzard of 2010 at 20 Prospect Jr.’s hockey tournament. Everything else in Minnesota was closed, but Lord knows youth Hockey must go on. It’s like the US Mail that way. The boys lost two and won one game. 20P Jr. scored a goal, and had a few assists, so he was pretty proud of himself by Sunday night.

That's my boy

Not to be outdone, Lil’ Miss 20 Prospect had a 5th grade basketball game on Monday night where she proceeded to score 10 of her team’s 16 points. Yeah, they got creamed 36 – 16, but it was a marked improvement from the 38-0 score of their last game. It was amazing watching Lil Miss 20P dribble up and down the floor, scoring baskets.

taking the rock to the rack

I have no earthly idea where this sudden talent for basketball came from. Honestly, we’ve been to several games, and she hasn’t come within 5 feet of scoring a basket, but suddenly she’s driving the lane, and stealing the ball at half court.

Maybe the dog crate has improved her basketball game too?

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18 thoughts on “Life during wartime

  1. LOL! I thought I was the only one to use a dog crate. Motivational indeed. Hang on, there’s someone that looks suspiciously like a CPS caseworker at the door…

    Seriously, congrats on your kids’ success!

    • Visionary parenting techniques always take time to be accepted by society. I’m just a book, and a website away from an Oprah appearance.

  2. I had a whole playground full of “PC” moms aghast at the mere mention of cages for kids.
    I told them if they didn’t understand the benefits they clearly weren’t spending enough time with their offspring and sure enough that was the problem. After a week of non stop onslaughts, requests, mistakes and outright stupidity by their children they too had invested in a small cage and were singing it’s praises!
    Anyway, in some strange alternate universe type of thing going on here my son is also a hockey player and my daughter plays CYO basketball where she rules with a highly inappropriate iron fist and plays like it’s mighty might football, knocking down and tackling anyone who tries to take the ball from her.
    I can’t imagine WHERE she got such a violent streak and a foul temper from.

    • Wow. That is a bizarre coincidence. Say, you don’t sit in the bleachers screaming profanities at the referees too, do you?

      Not that I do that…

      anymore.

      Damn restraining orders.

    • When my sisters babysat me way back in the 70’s they used to tie me up with duck tape and throw me in the closet. Child restraint technology sure has come a long way in 30 years.

  3. I don’t care where you live, you have every right to bitch about the cold. So says I as a Michigander who spends a minimum of four months a year completely pissed off at the weather. Unless, of course, it brings me a snow day, and then I cheer with wild glee.

    Your kids pics are precious. How does one stay upright on the ice with that much gear on? Impressive.

  4. This is why I love the interwebz. My real-life friends always look at me funny when they walk in the door and say, “Did you get a dog?” as I look at them like they are stupid and reply blandly, “No, why do you ask?” It is usually about this time I realize they are staring at the dog cages. Meh, so judgmental. Meanwhile, in KY, where we don’t have hockey, The Drama Queen shaved an entire 3 seconds from her 100 butterfly at the WKU Invitational for high schools. YAY! (that was in celebration of the cages, of course, may they live long and continue to raise our children well)

  5. You have every right to complain about the cold. The way you do to be proud of your kids’ accomplishment.

    That being said, I am calling Child Service. Those dog crates are not up to the latest code, are they?!

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