The Great Big Profound End of the Year Post

Seems like only yesterday I was saying goodbye to 2009, and ridiculing the media for their navel gazing paeans to the Decade of the Oughts. However, just like them, I am returning to the “year in review meme” again this year for lack of imagination.

So let me start by saying that 2010 will forever be notable because it was first year since 1999 that didn’t have 2 zeros right next to each other. You cannot overestimate the significance of this in numerology! Or maybe you can, I have no idea really. Numerology is one of the few subjects I haven’t bothered to look up on Wikipedia.

So now we look forward to 2011, which is notable for being the year before 2012, which as we all know, is when the Mayan’s will all have to go out and buy new calendars. Lucky Mayan’s, we have to buy new ones every year. Although having a 5,000 year calendar would be a pain. Our kitchen wall isn’t big enough to hold it. 1 year calendars seem much more practical.

OK, this still isn’t working. Let’s start over.

2010! The end of another 10 year chunk of time! Sure, time is an arbitrary measurement. Look at your life by the minute, hours, or day, and it seems like constant change. But pull back to view it in terms of 10 year increments and themes emerge. It’s like Google Earth that way.

1970’s – CHILDHOOD
1980’s – COMING OF AGE
2010’s – ??????????

What grand theme will dominate the next 10 years of my life? “KIDS GROWING UP”, “GETTING OLD AND FAT” or maybe “WINNING THE LOTTERY”. I’m hoping for the latter.

But why stop there, what about the 2020’s? “EMPTY NEST” perhaps?

Let’s not get ahead of ourselves. Right now I will be content to make it to 2012 because I’d hate to miss Armageddon. I mean dying the year before the world ends would be like leaving the Baseball game with the home team losing by 3 runs in the bottom of the ninth inning, and hearing the crowd roar for a walk off grand slam as you unlock your car. DOH!

Of course, it might also be like standing at the counter in McDonalds as three buses of retirees pull up outside and come toddling in the door for lunch. WOOT, just in time!!!! You can be relaxing in paradise, while the millions of enraptured stand in line for the grand daddy of all Disney World rides. Can you imagine how deflating it would be to be standing 4 billionth in line to get through the pearly gates?

“Your Estimated Wait Time from This Spot – 200 Years”

Happy New Year everyone, may you have a Blessed and Peaceful 2011.

15 thoughts on “The Great Big Profound End of the Year Post

  1. Here’s what vexes me about the 2000s — it sounds ridiculous for seniors in high school. I graduated high school in ’98 (ok, fine, ’93), and that had a certain ring to it. In the 2000s, seniors started saying they were a part of the class of oh-four or oh-nine. But now they continue with the ohs. So this year’s class is the class of oh-eleven. I don’t know why, but it sounds ridiculous to me. Someone should fix that. Maybe the Mayans.

    Have a lovely New Year!

  2. Um, I have never had to wait on line at Disney World for more than 15 minutes due to overabundance of charm and my Fast Pass skills. I intend to use the same skills to avoid the line when death comes knocking.
    Although as many of you know I may in fact have tickets on the bullet train to hell. On the positive side? No wait time.

  3. Oh also, have a great New Year! I slept through most of the first day, and then rolled out of bed like a college heathen at 1 pm and went for breakfast at dinner time.

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