20 Prospect – LIVE ON TOUR!


I never sleep well the night before a trip, but having a 6 am conference call on Monday morning did not make it any easier. Trust me, this call wasn’t my idea. I’m not a big phone call kinda guy to begin with, but holding a 4 way phone call between Belgium, Japan, Korea, and the US at six in the morning pretty much guarantees that I will not be bubbly and effervescent. God forbid the day that the company gives us video cameras, and insists we hold the calls over Skype. The world is not ready to see this face at 6 am.

So I dragged my butt out of bed at 5:40 am, and let the dogs out. Before I even had a chance to pour a cup of coffee, the Indomitable Moxie and Maggie the Wonderdog were going berserk in the backyard howling and barking. So I stumbled to the window to see what the hell their issue was. In the pre-dawn gloom I could see them standing over a dark object in the back of the yard, sniffing at it, and howling. I opened the door and yelled at them to shut up before they woke the neighborhood, but that only sent them running off in circles patrolling the perimeter for intruders. They had gone into Canine DEFCON 4;

INTRUDER ALERT! INTRUDER ALERT! FIND THE INTRUDER! CATCH THE INTRUDER!

So cussing, and swearing, I put on my snow boots and went outside in my pajama’s. It was a balmy 12 degrees out there, and the dogs were clearly not going to come when I called them. I trudged through the snow to the dark object, and discovered it was…

(WARNING – THIS POST  RATED PG-13 FOR DISTURBING SCENES – Look away Elly)

It was a partially eaten frozen rabbit. It appeared to be a foot, leg, and part of the body. I didn’t see any bunny ears, so it’s entirely possible it was a cat, or something else. If it was a rabbit, it obviously wasn’t a lucky foot, unless you were the fox. I’m sure Mr. Fox considered it very lucky. I know Maggie did, because she ran over and picked it up in her mouth and trotted off on a victory lap around the yard with it like it was the Lombardi trophy.

After 2 minutes of swearing, and chasing, I was able to recover the remains of Mr. Bunny, and corral the dogs back inside the house. My friends, this is not a good way to start the morning.

I poured some coffee, fired up the computer, and dialed into my call. The dogs however, having caught the scent of live fox, and dead rabbit, were not ready to go back to bed. So between their growling and barking, and the background noise from Europe and Asia, I had no idea what the hell anyone was talking about. Thank god for mute buttons. Now if someone could invent a rewind button for my life too, I could go back and get some more sleep.

I will be travelling for the next few days, on a whirlwind tour of Salt Lake City, and San Jose, blogging to packed houses, and sold out arenas to cash in on my new found fame. That’s what happens when you win a major award, everybody wants a piece of you. Don’t worry though. I vow not to let fame and fortune change me. I will still be the same blogger that I was before. I’ll just be able to afford to smash my laptop on the ground like Pete Townsend when I finish my posts.

Blog & Roll Baby! Blog & Roll!

If you’ll excuse me, I need to have a sharp talk with my personal assistant. I found a brown M&M in my bowl. How many times do I have to tell her that I ONLY EAT THE GREEN PEANUT M&M’s? You just can’t find good help these days.

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15 thoughts on “20 Prospect – LIVE ON TOUR!

  1. Dogs! They bring love into your house and then they ruin everything. My dogs are very talented at waking the neighborhood to report the opossum danger lurking behind every tree. I know my neighbors appreciate it.

    The only thing worse than barking dogs in the early morning is a 6 a.m. conference call though. Egads.

    Blog & roll!

    • Just close your eyes, and click your heels together three times and say “there’s no place like home”

      No wait, that will only get you to Kansas, not Dufmanno Island. Nevermind

  2. You aren’t truly a diva until you’ve bathed in tepid Evian water and been blown dry by a harem of groupies holding feather fans.
    Also, you need to add throwing your laptop out of a hotel window and into a pool to your list of manditory rock star acts of immaturity and defiance.
    Because nothing says “I can’t appreciate my fame and money” like destruction of property and public drunkeness.

  3. Why is it always like that? There’s fur, and there’s legs, but never a head. I imagine foxes and hawks spitefully biting the heads off of bunnies and then leaving the mystery remains in my yard to torture me and tantalize my dog.

  4. Dead rabbits make me think someone is pregnant…it’s an omen. I better not end up like one of those people on that show and go to the hospital with horrendous back pain and come out with a baby. If I do, I am sending it to you.

  5. Oh oh oh. Pick me pick me i have a good story about dead bunny too!

    One Easter Sunday, as we were getting ready to call the kids out to the back yard for the lameass Easter Egg hunt that we do every year with just the four of us (Hey, more candy for everybody this way!) my husband saw a halfeaten bunny on the edge of the lawn.

    The Easter Bunny is murdered!

    We still laugh at that.

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