Ever since I won my major award, and achieved massive fame and recognition, I have been feeling guilty. You see nothing good can happen in my life without inducing an equal and opposite amount of guilt to make up for it. Don’t say the Nun’s didn’t do their job well.
So I have been thinking about various ways that I might be able to “pay it forward” and share my newfound wealth and fame with others.
So I considered signing up for one of those “adopt a highway” programs, where local groups volunteer to pick up trash alongside the road. However, I soon discovered that there is no such thing as an “Adopt the Information Superhighway Program”, so I wouldn’t be able to repay society by cleaning up a one mile stretch of the interwebz. Bummer, because I don’t know about your corner of the interwebz, but ours is just littered with trash.
Then I considered using my fame and fortune to become a super hero, and fight crime. I always wanted to wear a cape! However, when I tried on the spandex suit, I decided that the sight of me in tight fitting clothes was not really the benefit to society that I had hoped it would be.
So I went out on a walk last night here in Salt Lake City to see what kind of good deeds I could do. I found a drunk lying passed out on the sidewalk behind the State Liquor Store downtown, and considered doing the good Samaritan thing and bandaging his wounds, and nursing him back to health. But then I remembered that I am not really a big fan of people in general, and strange drunks in particular, so I chickened out and kept walking.
Finally, this morning as I woke before heading out on the next leg of my tour, inspiration struck. I would create my own award, like Alfred Nobel, to repay my debt to society by recognizing the heroic sacrifice, and efforts of a deserving individual who is trying to make the Interwebz a better place. YES! That would be my legacy! An award that raises the profile of another blogger destined for greatness!
So interwebz, I broke out my mad photoshop skills, and my shaky trigger hand, and crafted the following award;
(All graphic design inspiration goes to SubWow)
This award honors the blogger with either the sexiest legs, or the horniest unicorn on the interweb. Because if there is one thing this world needs more of, it’s horny unicorns and sexy legs. And perhaps Nutella.
So without further ado, it is my honor to award the first annual “20 Prospect – Sexiest Leg / Horniest Unicorn Award” to Miss Patricia Marie Punker, of the always funny www.pattypunker.com
In order to accept this award the recipient must vow to grace the interwebz with either a set of sexy legs, or a horny unicorn.