Maggie the Wonderdog

Maggie: (Jumping up and down on the back seat, looking out the window of the minivan.) Oh boy! We’re going bye-bye in the car! Can you believe it? Bye-bye in the car! Woo-hoo!

Moxie: (sitting on the backseat) Yeah, yeah, settle down.

Maggie: C’mon Mox! We’re going in the car. The car. The CAR!!!!

Moxie: But do you know where we’re going?

Maggie: Of course! We’re going in the car!

Moxie: No dummy, I mean do you know where the peoples are taking us?

Maggie: Where? Somewhere fun? Somewhere with dogs? Somewhere with dead stuff to sniff? Tell me!

Moxie: Didn’t you see the suitcases in the bedroom? The people are going on vacation, and leaving us at the dog sitter’s.

Maggie: Oh boy! The dog sitters! Dogs! More dogs!

Moxie: (sigh…)

Maggie: What’s the matter Mox? Why aren’t you excited? We’re going to the dog sitters!

Moxie: Don’t you get it? The peoples are leaving us behind? It might be days or weeks before we see them again?

Maggie: Huh, I didn’t think of that…

Moxie: Who knows when, or even if, they’ll come back?

Maggie: What? You mean they might not come back?

Moxie: You never know with peoples. My first peoples took me to a dog sitter’s once, and I ended up in a cage at the shelter.

Maggie: What’s a shelter?

Moxie: It’s a place people take dogs they don’t want anymore.

Maggie: But the peoples still want us right? Right Mox? They aren’t leaving us forever!

Moxie: Well, I hope not. I mean, once you’ve done time in the big house, you don’t ever want to go back. You’re lucky you were just a stray they found in a swamp. Trust me, you wouldn’t last a week in the shelter with all those Pit Bulls.

Maggie: Oh please tell me they aren’t leaving us forever! I like it in our house! I don’t want to go back to the swamp! I don’t want to go to the shelter!

Moxie: Relax kid, it’ll be OK. (pointing out window) Look, see? We’re pulling up in front of the dog sitter’s right now.

Maggie: (looks out window) LOOK! There’s more DOGS!!!!! (starts jumping up and down) DOGS! DOGS! DOGS! DOGS! DOGS! DOGS! DOGS!

(The car door opens, and Maggie jumps out and runs to the door)

Maggie: C’MON! MOX!!! THERE’S DOGS!!!!

Moxie: (tail between legs, walking to front door.) I’m coming. I’m coming. (pauses, looks back sheepishly)

Maggie: (Looking at Moxie) Hey? What’s matter? Are you crying?

Moxie: *sniff* Nuh-uh!

Maggie: Don’t worry, everything is going to be OK. The peoples will be back.

Moxie: How do you know?

Maggie: I just know it! I’m a hound, I have a sense about these things.




10 thoughts on “DOGS! DOGS! DOGS!

  1. Aww! I can relate. Our beast, Roo, is never happy to head to the kennel. In fact, for days as we were packing for our recent camping trip, his ears were back — distrustful of us. Then, as we loaded the car, he bolted out the door and was a mile away before we could finally catch up to him! He knew what was coming, and he was NOT happy about it.

    • Ours too. Yet on the morning we dropped them off they still jumped into the car with tails wagging. Such innocence. Such sweet naivety.

  2. Ugh! It breaks my heart to leave mine. Especially when the people keeping them call 2 minutes after I leave to tell me Noel’s throwing her head back and howling like I left her forever!

    Stupid lovable dogs!

  3. I’m with the dogs on this one..enough of this vacation nonsense you need to undermine the fabric of society and familial bliss and get home to type.
    You should have seen my family when I kept posting during last years beach vacation. They basically ejected me from the family and told me I had the most screwed up priorities they’d ever seen.
    I hate my family.
    Just kidding

    • I’m back!

      Well I have cell coverage anyway. I’m not sure where my brain is at the moment, but my body is in a Holiday Inn in South Dakota.

      I feel like Dorothy after she returns to Kansas. Was it all a dream? But you were there Dufmanno! And KYA too! So was SMH and Andrea and Patty! Toto! Wherels Toto?

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