Resolutions


I’ve never been one to make New Year’s resolutions. Not because I have a problem with keeping resolutions, just because I’m better than the rest you and do not need improvement. But it’s January 4th and I’ve already run out of ideas for blog posts, and if there’s one prompt that is more of a sure fire crutch than a Top Ten list, it’s a post about New Year’s resolutions. So here’s my meager attempt to eek out another post.

20 Prospect’s Resolutions for 2012

1. Start carrying a tablet everywhere I go to “look busy.”

2. Promote Coccyx health.

3. Master the art of nodding my head in meetings, and taking notes on my tablet, to look like I’m paying attention.

4. Finish the damn book already.

5. Start seeing motorcycles.

The most ubiquitous bumper sticker in the State of Minnesota

 

6. Hang around with heavier people, so I look thinner.

7. Suck another years worth of salary and benefits out of our shareholders.

8. Use every natural disaster as an excuse to say “The Mayans were right!”

9. Furrow my eyebrows, and mutter to self in the hallways, so that I appear to be deep in thought on the way to the coffee machine.

10. Keep mailing it in.

Wow. That turned out to be quite a list. I better get busy!
(Closes office door, fires up browser, and starts surfing the internet)

4 thoughts on “Resolutions

  1. My New Year’s resolution was to break free of the confinement in that dark basement they were keeping me in. Done and DONE! I have fufilled my dreams and slaughtered my captors!

  2. Great list. So are you promoting a donut pillow or memory cushion for that coccyx health? Or are you just saying you’ll try harder not to be a pain in the rear?

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