What is it about middle age that makes sleep so elusive? Why do I wake in the middle of the night, and find it impossible to get back to sleep. Is my mind working too hard? Am I not eating right, and exercising enough? Is it the government mind control rays? I knew it was the government mind control rays. I’ve got to start wearing my tinfoil hat to bed again.
The birds were awake and singing at 4 am this morning, so at least I wasn’t alone as I sat in the predawn glow and tried to lull myself back to sleep. Sitting in the lilac bushes outside my bedroom window they sang away with empty headed joy. I wish I could do the same. The sunrise was beautiful though. Driving to work the scraps of clouds were glowing creamsicle orange. It’s times like this that I remind myself I should just be happy to be alive. Waking up early beats the alternative of not waking up at all.
Lilacs always make me nostalgic. They are the most democratic of flowers, growing in unkempt clumps and bushes, that defy any gardeners attempt to control them. Which is why you seldom see lilacs on the lawns of the rich and famous. They are the anti-rose. They grow like weeds, and defy any efforts at pruning. Kind of like Catholics.
Growing up on Prospect we had a forest of lilacs leaning over the 8ft. high chain link fence separating Ellicott Ave from Prospect. They hung over into our back yard and filled the air with their glorious scent. It is one of the most comforting scents I know, and when they bloom in our backyard now, it always takes me back to those childhood days, when the world was a simpler place, and Cheez Itz only came in one flavor. Of course, any time is a simpler time when you are 10 years old, and your biggest worry is Friday’s spelling test.
So forgive me if I seem lost in a lilac daze today. Blame it on lack of sleep, and the government mind control rays.