Fox on the Run


When we last spoke about our intrepid new employee, he was lurking about the lair of my dark corporate overlords, causing mayhem and worry. That was 2 months ago, and I am happy to report that despite the best efforts of the “Wildlife Control Professionals”, our resident Robin Hood, continues to strike blows for the common man by leaving piles of fox scat in front of my boss’ window. Also of note is a decided decline in the number of rodents running about the grounds, and a total lack of goose shit in the parking lot.

For people that don’t live in northern areas, the Canadian goose must seem like a majestic waterfowl. To those of us who live within the Twin Cities they are just large, surly pigeons. After we moved into our new building 5 years ago, a flock of geese had taken up seasonal residence in the drainage pond by the parking lot, and had taken to leaving piles of goose crap all over the pavement, and sidewalk leading to the front door. Calls we made to building operations, and complaints were lodged, but in those days before wildlife control specialists, they were powerless to stop them. So we became accustomed to stepping over gooseshit on our way into and out of the building. At least until the next meeting of the board of directors, whereupon building operations showed up with a power washer and brush, and scrubbed the sidewalk leading into the building lest the gods of Corporate governance soil their slippers. Personally, I think spreading the rose petals on the sidewalk would have been good enough, but that’s why I’m only a middle manager.

So while the goose shit may have been an inconvenience, in the grand scheme of things, it was a minor one. I had once worked in an office park where the geese would routinely take shelter in the revolving doors, and hiss at any unsuspecting employee. If only management could have trained them to only do this at quitting time, productivity might have soared. Thankfully for us, our resident flock of incontinent Minnesota geese were only passive aggressive, in the great tradition of all native Minnesotans.

However, since the arrival of our furry highwayman, even the geese have decided to vacate the building. Shitting in front of the boss’ window, eating mice, and scaring away geese; much to the dismay of my Dark Corporate Overlords, Mr. Fox is proving to be a man of the people. Which has given me hope that maybe we can train him to bite the board of directors.

4 thoughts on “Fox on the Run

  1. Red foxes are running out of places to hide since the return of coyotes to Minnesota. The coyotes seem to view them as lessor coyotes and kill them on sight. The logical answer to that of course is timber wolves, which view coyotes (and dogs) with similar disdain. How do you suppose the boss would feel about a big wolf dump in front of his window?

    I have answers to all these vexing problems but nobody ever asks me. ???

    • I’m not sure how she’d feel about the Timber Wolf scat, but watching one feast on the carcass of an employee might give her some ideas.

  2. I applauded this fox and his creative stealth in sticking it to the man in the first few installments recounting his hijinks but the bold new frontier of thwarting the Canadian geese menace?? That is totally hardcore.
    If it were up to me there’d be a cooked goose carcass on every American dinner table nightly- courtesy of me and my crossbow.
    Big, mean, unpredictable, grudge holding bastards.
    So mr. Fox? I salute you.

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